Death is glorified in all cultures with rituals that often don’t make any sense they are often a signal to the rest of the world that an individual is grieving.
One such custom for Brahmins (Hindus) is a Tonsure head with a wisp of a pony for the males when they are bereaving a close family member.
I recently asked our chemist bhaiya (elder brother) who was sporting this look if everything was alright, and he told me that he had returned from his village after the last rites of his grandma.
It’s always sad when you hear about someone losing their loved ones, but you can sympathize a hundred times more when you have lost that family member as well.
My dadi (grandma) passed away in 2020 when the world was locked down, we couldn’t even give her a proper funeral so it always hits hard whenever someone talks about losing a grandparent.
I tried to console him citing old age as the villain, but his answer surprised me as he openly claimed that time never had a chance against her grandma.
She was 111 years old and in better health than most people in their 80’s. She was free of any chronic disease that plagues most middle-aged people.
A centenarian who defied more than three pandemics in her lifetime and lived through the independence revolution of her country succumbed to death after one fatal accident.
Her lifestyle gave her a long healthy life, but one unfortunate evening she fell in the bathroom which led to hip surgery and her health went downhill from there.
She had a lot of advice to pass down in her last days, where she made sure to tell her grandson things as they were, starting with reprimanding him on his lifestyle.
Here are all the things she harped about in her last days, the invaluable advice that can boost both your lifespan and health span.
The morning habit that wrecks your longevity
The fast city life can’t beat the peaceful existence of village life.
So, she never quite understood the schedule that her grandson used to crib about every day, but she knew it was not a productive way to live a healthy life.
Waking up way after the sun has risen and going to bed after midnight is beyond her comprehension.
According to her waking up with the sun is the best way to start your day, sunrise is a treasure that one should cherish every day.
Moreover, she believes that the best work and life decisions are made at dawn which is viewed as a holy time in most religions.
Waking up after six is a sin in her books so when bhaiya used to visit the village he had no other option than to wake up at sunrise.
A minute late and he would have to hear taunts of being a lazy city boy for the rest of his trip.
She asked him repeatedly if he was waking up early when he went to visit her, she desperately wanted him to reconsider this habit.
Morning light is a free serotonin booster and it can make you depression-proof and boost your happiness.
According to her morning light is the easiest way to secure a healthy and long life. So, she made sure he knew it was important beforehand.
Here’s what he did:-
As a night owl, he has always detested waking up early. But now it’s the one thing that his grandma asked him to do before taking her last breaths, so he has no other choice than to build this habit.
Some people are predisposed to the special night owl gene but most of us can wake up early without a mental havoc.
Exposure to morning light is the best way to achieve this feat. Morning light can re-program the circadian rhythm to wake up early.
So, he has now joined a morning yoga class in a park to get as much sunlight as possible in the first hour of waking up.
You’ll die soon if you live around the clock
The fastidious city life is not something she’s acquainted with, so it’s always a wonder to her how much time he spends on his job.
She used to teach in the village school and her work ended by mid-noon on most days even then she would complain about the time wasted.
Time management is a non-negotiable principle for her that everyone should follow with a daily routine to live a meaningful and healthy life.
Her work, chores, and meals all had a designated time, so witnessing her grandson’s haphazard lifestyle frightened her.
She believed that one needs to slow down and enjoy what one has worked for to maintain a good level of productivity and motivation in life.
You won’t know what you have worked hard for unless you enjoy the fruits of your labor, so take time off to live a little.
Knitting and stitching clothes for her loved ones was her perfect downtime and she had made several items for him over the years.
The hustle culture leaves little to no time for an evening routine which is essential to slow down after a long and hard day.
This simple habit can protect you from numerous sleep problems as a downtime routine improves sleep quality.
So, make time for downtime to boost your sleep and mental well-being. Learn to enjoy the fruits of your labor to work better in the future.
Here’s what he did:-
Pick a challenge that makes you want to disengage from your reality, a task that demands you pay full attention to it.
Learning chess became his favorite downtime a few weeks ago, he has reserved his evening for learning the perfect openings to boost his ranking.
Pick a non-screen activity that you like to decompress after work.
Start with the hobbies that you have always wanted to try your hand at maybe you have a natural talent for it.
You attract the plague of diseases with lifestyle
A healthy centenarian is a rare specimen. She had lived a full life without a smidge of disease.
Nothing other than normal cold and flu could do anything to her, she was safeguarded from the lifestyle diseases that plague so many today.
Her genes and impeccable lifestyle protected her from these horrible diseases, she only had to face the ailments of old age which she did with a smile on her face.
You can always blame your genes for mental and physical health problems because it’s easy but it takes hard work to develop a lifestyle that prevents you from these diseases.
We lack the discipline to live a life that will protect us from terrible lifestyle diseases when we grow old, we focus more on enjoying life now at the cost of our future selves.
She was strictly against junk food that’s been shoved down our throats by the big multinational corporations. She believed in not only cooking but also growing her food.
She had a small garden where she grew regional vegetables. She was a farmer's daughter so cultivating a small garden was an easy task for her.
A healthy diet rich in milk products, organic plants, and vegetables served her well over the years.
She had a small appetite but she made sure to eat only the best produce available. She always warned him about the junk food that he so loved.
Recently she heard the terrifying news of a young man collapsing because of a heart attack in her neighborhood so she has been on a mission to get everyone in her off junk food which according to her is teh worst habit.
You win half the battle once you alter your diet. A nutritious and healthy diet is the best way to avoid most tragic chronic diseases.
And the other half is won with a consistent exercise routine. She had done yoga every morning for more than fifty years, this habit has kept her from becoming frail and succumbing to old age before her time.
Here’s what he did:-
Junk food is now the norm in the city, we order on a whim with a simple swipe without thinking about the long-term effects of our choices.
The comfort of having all the options at your fingertips makes it impossible to stick to a healthy diet of home-cooked meals.
I have been struggling with this problem too it got so bad that I had to delete the food delivery apps from my phone.
Consistent physical exercise is the only way to achieve longevity worth living, as it safeguards your brain against neurodegenerative diseases.
So, the first rule for a long and healthy life is a good diet followed by an active lifestyle.
You have forgotten the meaning of true life
The Indian society she grew up in greatly differed from the one I live in. At that time education was reserved for the noblemen of birth.
But she broke this norm by not only gaining an education but also becoming a teacher in her village.
In the time when Indians were treated as slaves in their own country, she learned the language of our oppressors and made it her mission to teach it to as many students as possible to free them from the shackles of illiteracy.
It was an achievement to become a teacher when most of our grandmothers didn’t even learn to read.
This purpose kept her going through thick and thin, she defied the norms of society to live a full life, enriched with a noble purpose that pushed her to achieve the successes that most women of her generation couldn’t even dream about.
One time bhaiya tried to get out of a school day by claiming her grandma had died, but his plans were ruined as the principal called her to check up on her as they were old friends, that day he learned not to mess up with her granny the hard way.
She had taught English to all the kids in her village even after she retired, it was her way of giving back to the community.
This purpose saved her from leading a boring life filled with soul-sucking content that has the power to rot one's brain.
Aiming for utmost happiness puts a lot of pressure on you, instead focus on being satisfied. Following your Ikigai is the easiest way to guarantee a satisfied life.
So, work on yourself to find your true calling in life as it is a prime factor that decides the quality of your life.
Here’s what he did:-
Your ikigai can get you through anything. A purpose is powerful enough to become your redemption.
It will keep you going no matter how hard life gets. Following her example he has started working on his business plan that has been on hold for years.
He realized there would never be a perfect time when he could manage a job, family, and business all together in harmony.
He’ll have to work hard to create that perfect life. So, it’s better to start now before it gets too late.
You become to self-dependent on things and people
Old age proves to be a pain for most people as they get stuck with ailments that refuse to leave their side, in some cases it becomes till death do us part.
But not for her she lived an active life when for most it’s a struggle to get out of bed but it all changed after she had that tragic fall.
The fall made it impossible for her to do her regular chores like cooking, and gardening. It threw off her daily routine as some tasks like an after-meal walk were out of the question.
It was a mental torture to live a life restrained to her bed but she came to terms with it and resorted to knitting all day long.
The self-dependence that she worked so hard at was snatched in seconds, but it didn’t break her spirits. She did cooking prep and basic static chores like folding the laundry while on bedrest.
According to her, it was a blessing to be able to do her work but it was an even bigger blessing to have a loving family who would help her recover.
She enjoyed all the true pleasures life had to offer before she finally rested in peace.
The joy that she received from her family was paramount but nothing could beat the self-dependence that she had worked so hard to maintain.
She still insisted on doing her work by herself in her last days. Being self-dependent made her truly happy.
It was her biggest achievement ever and she advised everyone in her family that they too should aim to be as self-dependent as possible.
She instructed her grandson to follow in her footsteps by keeping an active life outside of work as well. Small habits like daily walk and stretching go a long way in achieving these goals.
Here’s what he did:-
She was an avid yoga practitioner so credited her mobility and flexibility to her yoga practice.
He followed in her footsteps and joined an early morning yoga class to ensure a better lifestyle and good health.
Self-dependence is more than just managing your finances, you should also be able to run your life by yourself without depending on anyone for basic chores.
It’s good to have help but you should not be in a position where need it. So, he made it a rule to learn cooking as it is one skill that he has no clue about.
Learn basic skills that can help you survive by yourself if it ever comes to that.
Conclusion
This is a story of how a greeting can lead to the best life lesson you will ever get.
A simple comment about an observation can lead to a conversation that can change your viewpoint and make you contemplate your life choices.
I have made quite a few big changes in my life after hearing the story of Bhaiya’s super grandma. From joining early morning yoga class to reducing junk food to only once a week.
Being curious about other people’s lives can lead to great discoveries that can potentially change your life.
P.S.- A big thank you if you made it down here, this is the longest article I’ve ever written. Thank you for giving your precious time.